Waiting.....

I like conversations.
But it's hard when people don't talk back...which is obviously, half of a conversation. :)
Sometimes the hardest conversations for me are the ones where i don't get any feedback. And right now, i think I'm at that point with God. I'm not really getting any *YES* answers or *NO* answers. So right now I'm in the....*MAYBE* and *WE'LL SEE* stages. He seems to be saying, just keep hanging in there, and I'll show you my plan- IF you just trust me with it, and keep asking me what my plan is.

So, I need to keep asking. And praying. And reading his word.

What do you have in mind for me, Lord?
I am waiting, waiting on you Lord and i am [trying to be] peaceful.

Would I?

How could You walk when You went down that dusty street
How could You speak when all your friends checked out
How could You love after the great betrayal
How could You reach out when they nailed You down

True as true can be
That's what they say You are to me when I'm so fake
Does Your heart ache
If I had been the one I would not have been that strong
If I had been the one, yeah, I'd have been long gone

How could You hang on with Your mama crying
How could You keep on breathing in and out
How could You watch while Your whole world was dying
Did it all happen cause we let You down

True as true can be
That's what they say You are to me when I'm so fake
Does Your heart ache
If I had been the one I would not have been that strong
If I had been the one, yeah, I'd have been long gone

And all the things we think of as eternal would come undone
All I have to say is when I'm praying
Is "Thank God I'm not the One"


~ The Afters


How could you reach out when they nailed you down?
Oh man, i love this song.

Lake Pendorielle Memories...

Wow. We'd be at Lake Pendorielle right now! But we're not! It's such a sad thought...but i have sooo sooo soooo many memories that i absolutely cherish from our trips over there.

So, here are some of my fondest memories :)


Mrs. Nims, Mrs. Moore and Mrs. Pritchett passing out deliciously sweet, cream filled Italian sodas. I think it was the ladies passing out the Sodas that made them so wonderful.

Volleyball in the hot sand-- digging pits in the sand to cool off our feet! And, dumb diving... :D YEAH FOR THE DUMB DIVERS!

Ultimate frisbee and soccer in the sand.... "Hey guys, what's outta bounds?"

Kayak races! Our team SO won! :)

DUCT TAPING REW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King Elephant and Signs and the "Guessing Game" around the campfire... :D

Talks with friends on the beach throwing rocks in the water. Enjoying life together.

Hangin' with Kaishy and Blurb and Hannah and Abbie and Melissa and Nicole ... doesn't everyone just adore them?!?! <3

Late night games-- hand slap, spoons, card games, and movie line quoting! Punctuated by Abbie shushing us, of course :) love ya abbs!

Andrew's Slap Happy story about...... COFFEE! "Once upon a time there were these two little kids in England who desperately needed coffee." "Wait, Andrew, they're in England. They'd drink tea." "No. England ran out of tea!"

Silverwood.... ahhhh Silverwood! Walking around in the hot sun-- "Where should we go!?" and "What next? The raft ride?"

LINE DANCING! 'nuff said. :D

Boulder Beach... Jumping in the wave pools and singing all the way down the slides!

Ice Cream!!!! I only got one scoop... while unnamed guys (several of them!) got 2 scoops and how many cones was it again!?!!??

Holding Abbie's and Hannah's hands on the way up Panic Plunge or roller coasters!!! You guys BOTH love roller coasters now, doncha!??!?!? jk jk :D

Camp Fires at night with an inspiring talk from Mr. Breakey or Mr. Pritchett and Mr. Thomas or one of the other dads.

Singing our favorite camp songs around the fire...Choruses, hymns and... "There was a great big moose!"

Mosquitoes. :)

Breathtaking views in the morning.

The slap of waves on the dock and on the rocks.

THE ROCKS!! OUCH!

Midnight swims...giggling and laughing with towels wrapped around us for warmth, anticipating the frigid plunge into the lake off the dock!

Walking all the way down to the lake from our campsites.

Hanging with little Grant and Jordan on the last night... very fun :)

Dad totally raking up his arm! and other such injuries...

Hanging out with Mia...the future princess rockstar.

Fourth of July Fireworks over the lake. BOOM!! "ooohhh. aahhh!!" heehee.

Walking over to the resort to get ice cream...only to find out that the only ice cream they have are those bars in those little coolers...i think we bought out the place!!

DEEP FRIED PANCAKES (w/ blueberries of course!!!)

Kayaking around the island (that i want to buy) with Melissa.

Taking up nearly a whole loop in the campground with all the people in our group.

There are many many more memories i have from that amazing place. But these were some of the highlights. We made some incredible memories trying new things...having fun in the process. Dude, I MISS LAKE PENDORIELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of my favorite parts about that trip was just seeing friends I've known for forever and haven't seen in forever.
Miss you all tons!
Love you all!
See you in August!

Graduation!

First off, I'm writing this post because it still doesn't feel real! I can't believe it!!!! This will hopefully seal it for me... :)

Graduation was amazing. God put people in my life that day that helped me realize that my graduation wasn't all about me. It was about so many people's lives that poured themselves into me to make me who i am and inspire me to do better. Even that day, God put people in my path that just made my day. While waiting for my commencement to begin, i spoke with one of the moms who home schools her children in our co-op. She asked me, from my perspective as a graduate, how hard or how easy home schooling was and how much i liked home schooling. I went through and told her my struggles. it was very interesting to hear myself summarizing my own school experience! God totally gave me a new perspective on how it was!

I was pretty nervous about my speech right before i walked up to the front... but God surprised me by giving me a new friend--a little girl named Hannah. She kept my mind off my speech until i was sent up the aisle.

It still doesn't feel real now...much later!! But I am SO thankful for God's direction these past years.... and am so excited to see what He does in the future....

Thanks to all of you for helping make me who i am.


I'M A GRADUATE!

It Feels Like Chaos, but Somehow There's Peace!

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

~Sanctus Real

The Way You are in Me, Lord.

Until You came
I was just the same
As everybody else
Whoever saw the light and turned away

You love me now
You loved me then
And every now and then
You show me how it would be if I'd gone the other way

And after all this time I've come to find my soul's fragility
But You've rectified my frailty by your strength

It's like the sun swallowed up by the earth
Like atomic bombs in reverse
As if a glass could contain the sea
That's the way You are in me
That's the way You are

Now here I stand, looking back
To the way things used to be
But I will never be alone again

'Cause You're with me
And now I see
What it means to me
To be a part of such a mystery

And after all this time I've come to find my soul's fragility
But You've rectified my frailty by your strength

It's like the sun swallowed up by the earth
Like atomic bombs in reverse
As if a glass could contain the sea
That's the way You are in me
That's the way You are


After all this time I've come to find my soul's fragility
But You've rectified my frailty by your strength

It's like the sun swallowed up by the earth
Like atomic bombs in reverse
As if a glass could contain the sea
That's the way You are in me


~The Afters

Be warned!

The following post needs a warning before being read.

WARNING:
THE FOLLOWING POST IS OVERLY LONG BECAUSE THE PERIOD BEFORE POSTING IT WAS FAR TOO LONG! SORRY!!!

So, you can take your time reading... comments would be lovely...feel free to overwhelm me with comments... LOL, just kidding...and you can comment on each section or whatever...TOTALLY not stressed about it on this end. :)

RUNNING JUST TO CATCH MYSELF!

My blog is feeling very neglected because i have been working very hard at other things. I can't see how some people keep up with their blog! (people taking lots of credits in Washington! LOL!) Anywho, i decided to write a little something, today. I've been trying to think of something to post about for a couple weeks. i've finally decided to compile a bunch of different things into one...because it's so much easier than writing out a whole paragraph or two on each event or topic! So here goes!

Irish Dance!!
Did you know there could be discernible significance in the words, "jump heel toe, jump heel toe, and turn 1,2, scoop up and heel, and point and toe, and jump 2- 3"?
It does...in Irish.

In Irish, there are certain, "code" words for things, that make them stand out from doing what it sounds like it would be. A "jump 2-3" is different than jumping three times. It has other steps in it. And a "skip 2-3" is different too. You have to learn all of it! And it's awesome!

Since i was little i wanted to do some kind of dance, and was always wanting something somewhat challenging to try! you know...to try my hand (i mean, foot!) at something new! Last semester, my mom stumbled on an email letting our Billings homeschool community know that there was the opportunity to try Irish dance!! So, for the last few months, Grace and I have been learning to dance. Our dance teachers are actually 2 of my good friends! And, several of our friends have joined with us! We both LOVE it! It's so interesting, and very challenging! We've made a lot of progress with our dancing, but have a LONG ways to go yet.

The Bible,Isaiah, Research papers, and History!

For the past two years, i have been blessed by a group of girls and guys that get together every 2 weeks to watch and discuss the Truth Project videos, and it's been so neat how God has just orchestrated events around it in my heart. Sometimes, Dr. Del Tackett will seem to say exactly the thing i had been needing to hear. He even gave me part of the topic for a research paper!

God has also been blessing me tons with this year's study of ancient history in our co-op, because at the same time, we are going through Isaiah in one of the adult Sunday school classes at church, and it's been interesting to see the parallels in God's character, and how God doesn't change!

School!
School has been going really well! I am SO excited to graduate! I have a couple classes that i really have to finish this year, and those are the ones that have been getting shoved to the back of the shelf, so at New Years, i made a resolution not to procrastinate on those classes, and even try to get them done early. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm a procrastinator, but i'm working on it. :D

Skiing!

Skiing has been a blast!! I tried it for the first time 2 winters ago (that sounds native american!) and it was amazing! Since that first year, all of us kids have asked for skiing with our homeschool co-op for Christmas instead of other things. Every year, though, something has happened to Isaac during the winter! First year: crashed into a tree so hard it moved the tree, i'm sure, and received a concussion so badly it would have killed him if he had not had his helmet on. Last year: Before skiing season, he was sledding in the same sled with a three friends, and the sled went into the trees, and his leg was just right when it hit the tree that, "SNAP" it broke!!! So, please PLEASE PLEASE (!!!!!) PRAY FOR HIM THIS WEDNESDAY CUZ HE'S TRYING SNOWBOARDING!! I'm seeing broken wrists in his future, personally because snow, trees, and sliding don't mix well with Isaac!! AAAAHHH! i don't know.. he'll probably do fine. I'm just a paranoid older sister, mommy number ______(?)

Valentines:
We went to a coffee shop for Valentines to watch a couple friends play guitars, piano and harp, and met up with a TON of our friend here. We had SO much fun just hanging out! tons of our friends were able to go, and we enjoyed catching up with them! It's so nice having friends on Valentines. You don't have to love a guy (or girl, for you guys) to have a good time on Valentines, you can love your friends and have a good time on Valentines day. :)

Random musings:
I was thinking about how much i love birds
I was thinking i should get all my school done
I was thinking the weather should make up its mind and be spring or winter
I was thinking that it's so nice to have pets
I was thinking how getting any kind of mail (snail or e) is so nice! (not hinting!)
I was thinking that I love blue and blue skies and white puffy clouds
I was thinking that I miss swimming and flowers
I was thinking that I love my graduation colors that i just picked
I was thinking that God is AMAZINGLY good because He let our church vote to buy a building!

The Micro-Evolution of Sledding!

The sun rose in a clear blue sky. The light sparkled in the faceted snow. Beauty was there to revel in for the eye of the beholder. The sun warmed the snow to the most minute degree, and made it just the right temperature, not too icy, not too soft.

Against this backdrop, you have the perfect equipment: snow gear, a huge, flat, snow-covered field, a couple of sleds, and one four-wheeler. How can these conditions contribute to a perfect SLED day without a hill? Let me explain. Attached to the back of the four-wheeler is a long rope with the three sleds (two toboggans and a bucket sled) attached. I believe you can get the picture how this contraption works (the four-wheeler pulls the sleds!). You must understand, in Montana, there are few hills that don’t have death drops at the end of them.

Well, in this sledding adventure thrown in were my two younger siblings and some friends to enhance the whole occasion! Well, it was under these circumstances with these pieces of equipment we ventured out into the weather. By twelve o’clock, we were raring to go! Once we were all well-situated in the sleds, it was time. Off went the four-wheeler. A sudden jerk brought the sleds into full motion! Off we sped!

Isaac was my dare-devil buddy. We attempted such things as standing up, putting one foot in a sled at a time, switching sleds, spinning around while the sleds were speeding along, riding backwards, taking jumps, pushing each other off into the snow, and other crazy things. We enjoyed the laughing and good-natured shoving as much as the exhilaration of falling off, trying CRAZY things, and getting snow up our coats!

Grace was my screaming buddy! You can’t enjoy a good day of sledding without giving it a good scream! Man, who doesn’t?? WE screamed at an increase in speed…SO FUN! We screamed at uneven surfaces that threatened to tip people into the freezing snow, and best of all, we screamed JUST FOR FUN!!! (LOL!)

We returned to the house for lunch, had chili, and yes, corn bread. We warmed up, and chatted, and let our clothes dry out. Then out we went again for another two hours of screaming, daring and double daring each other, and lots of fun!

One of my favorite parts was when I got to sit on the four-wheeler. There were five kids so two would be in the bucket sled, one on each of the two toboggans, and one sitting watching them on the back of the four-wheeler. It was so fun to watch the other kids fall off, barely stay on, freak out, and try to do silly things. However, the best part of sitting on the back of the four-wheeler was just getting to see the appealing sky, and the little things…the little wonders in the area, the animals, and just seeing people genuinely enjoying themselves.

In doing these things, we all had fun, but what we all kept mentioning while enjoying the exhilarating rides, was that WE DIDN’T HAVE TO CARRY OUR SLEDS UP THE HILL!!!